You can't expect me to be fine. I don't expect you to care.

I had a great day today. I just had my next level interview in this company and surprisingly, they called me in the afternoon and said congratulations, I got hired!! Yes! All in just one day! I really love this day. I didn’t expect that it would be this fast.  I just got a text message right after I sent my resume through Jobstreet saying that they are inviting me for an interview. My first interview went well. Initial screening then looooooong exams. After that, they said they will just call me after 2 weeks if ever I passed. Astoundingly again, they called in the afternoon saying that my application was upgraded to another position and that they were inviting me for the next level interview the next day. And there, after the next level interview, it was followed by a job offer! Blessing indeed! I know it’s His plan. I was really depressed lately for some reasons and I know that this was His reward for me for being resilient. I was miserable and all but everything paid off. I’m so grateful!

But then again, when mood swing strikes, it all comes back to where it started. The emotions, the depression, the frustrations and all. I thought I could be blissful. I thought I could disremember EVERYTHING. But guess I was wrong. It all comes back. Everything flashes back again and again like there was a repeat button and I keep on raping it. It sucks! I’m trying so hard. How I wish I could just lose my memory and forget everything. But I can’t. The worst part is, when I’ve found myself on track again, moved on and ready to start from the beginning, he’s always coming back and making me realize how stupid I am for being so fragile and dumb. He’s still sweeping me off my feet. I really want to avoid him, but I can’t. But I know where I stand. Yes, I know where I stand.