It's Worth Fighting For!

I haven’t been posting for awhile… I know. I’ve been busy but I know it’s not an excuse though. School gets more hell. New professors, new classmates, new friends, new subjects, etc. Also, I seldom bring my laptop with me so I haven’t got the time to write everything that is happening to me.

Anyway, just earlier I created a tumblr account. It’s also a blog site. I’m just bored so I decided to create one. Besides, I know a few friends who are totally in love with tumblr. Like they spend most of their hours in tumblr. I just wanna check what’s in it. I wish wouldn’t be like them. Lol.

So, where will I start my story? It’s been a long time since my last post. There are lots of happenings and changes. How will I start?

Okay, maybe I’ll start with my studies. I’m already in my 3^rd year as a student in UST. Last summer, I took some qualifying exams for our major. I was about to choose between Economics and Marketing so I took both exams. I did pass with those two. So my major problem was which is which? Marketing was my first choice and what I want actually just before I enter college. Economics, on the other side, made me so interested and I do excel in that subject. Not because it is easy but because I am really interested. But I stick up with my first choice and now I’m a Marketing student. First semester just ended and I am waiting for my grades to show up online. I’m not quote worried with my grades except for that one subject where I screwed up during my final exams. Just wish me luck. :/ anyway, I attended again a ceremony for the Outstanding Students earlier this September. Though I lost my scholarship, it still feels good receiving an award you know you deserve because of your hardships and patience.

Oh, about the picture above, I just saw it on photobucket and I really think it’s cute J I don’t know if it’s right to mention here about what happening with my personal life because people might, well, will see it. But I couldn’t care less, it’s my blogger people!

So what is actually happening to me? I’m good. I’m totally good. No. I’m totally great! You know the feeling as if everything seems right. Like everything falls perfectly in its place. Yes you might say, it’s just because I’m in love. I’ve been in love before. But this time, it’s different. You never know how many months and years I waited just to get this feeling. The patience, the pains, the tears, the happiness, the forgiveness and acceptance, the second chances, I’ve already did them. I never knew I could actually do those stupid things. Imagine, wait for someone for so long, ignoring admirers just because of someone? And you would never imagine that I could totally ignore those guys. I mean, I would be crazy if I dumped them for no reason. But I was totally crazy, so I dumped them. The worst part? I made them fall for me and leave them hanging. I was so mean just to avoid getting hurt. I remember when one of the guys got mad at me because I left him hanging after those sweet moments between us. It’s not that I intended to do it or like hurt me intentionally. It’s just that, there was a time when I just realized that I don’t like it anymore and that I had to stop it. It just hurt him because I didn’t say anything after that. It’s because I don’t know what to say to him. I am afraid of karma. I know everyone does. So I stopped doing things like that. So there’s this guy whom I really like, we became close friends, but just friends. Months passed and we had no communication with each other because we’re both busy. He do his own thing, I do mine. He flirts girls, I flirt boys. But I said to myself, he’s the one I’m willing to wait. If ever the time comes that we became together, I will surely want myself to be settled with him. I don’t even know why or what’s gotten in to me. I don’t know what he got but there’s something I really can’t resist. And then, there’s this night when he asked me if I want to try. Like me and him as lovers. I said sure. Lol. But my first 2 months with him was not good. He had this attitude of being cold because he has this mindset of no girls for the meantime. I don’t know but I guess it’s because of his past relationship. I tried to hold on to my faith. How stupid right? I was getting my hopes up trying to convince myself that everything will be okay. I did flirt some guys because I felt he doesn’t care at all. I was about to give him up when that night happened. We talked about it and he said I am important to him. I don’t wanna believe him because I don’t want to give him another chance. I was thinking that he’s hurting me too much and all I wanna do was to forget him and try to focus with some other things. But he really changed. Like he changed a lot. He said he realized something and things like that.

So now, we’re so good. It’s difficult to express here but you can never imagine how happy I am right now. It’s more than just a girlfriend-boyfriend thing. What we have is something true. We think as if we’re matured enough to face the future together. Our relationship is not just like others. We’re together not only for the sake of companionship and displayed affection. Our relationship is something worth keeping, worth believing and worth fighting. <3

Enrollment Day!

yesterday was really a stressful day. it was my enrollment. but before that, i have to renew my scholarship first. i have to get my certificate of grades from the dean's office. but the this was, the office just opened on November 3 which was the day before yesterday. usually, the certificate of grades can be claimed after 3 days. i really don't know what to do that time. usually, i renew my scholarship 2 days before the enrollment. but since it was a holiday, i couldn't do that this time.

yesterday, i went in the university at exactly 8am. i woke up 4:15am. too early huh. then, i went straight to the dean's office in our building. when i got there, it was still close. i was talking to the security guard to open it because i have something to do with my scholarship. then when it opened, i proceed to the dean's office. when it's my turn to claim the certicate, it wasn't there. they said, some of the certificates were not yet printed. and i was like, omg! i have to renew my scholarship before enrollment. my enrollment was scheduled 8-10 am and it was almost 9am! i was really aggravated that time. so i decided to wait a little longer. then the secretary talked to us again and said that we wait a little more because there's no one there to sign the certificates because they're still waiting for Mam Rosette. i was really annoyed so i went outside and proceed to the seminary gym where the enrollment is. i have to encode my pe subject first so that i could choose my preferred sports. so i sat there and waited. the line was long. then i saw my classmates and i joined them. lol. so lucky me, i was able to enter the gym faster. after i encoded my pe, i chose table tennis monday 1-3 pm. actually, i wanted to take basketball. but there's nothing that could fit my schedule. so i ended up with table tennis.

then, i get back to the building and finally, i was able to claim my certificate of grades. then i proceed to the office of student affairs for the renewal. they computed my grades and i have 1.42 average. thank God! :) then, i went to the enrollment again. imagine, i went back and forth. i almost walked around the whole vicinity of our university which was very tiring because our university is really huge. then, when i did the assessment of fees. then payment, then encoding. then done! yay! i'm done. lol.

and after that, we had our chorale rehearsal. it ended up to 3pm. it was a tiring day but atleast, i'm done with the things i must do. what i have to do now os to enjoy my remaining days of vacation, then hello 2nd sem! :) i hope this sem would be great too. i know, it will be more difficult. but i know God will guide me always :)

so bye for now,

charm.

Jho's 18th Birthday

OMG, i know i know. i haven't post even a single blog here for ages. and i want to apologize for that because honestly, it's our semestral break. i have lots of free time to post here but i didn't. it's not because i'm always busy or tired or whatsoever. maybe, it's just that i don't feel like i'm in the mood to write something. oh well, that's why i'm here. i wanna make up to you. though, i'm not sure if there's someone out there who loves reading my blogs. lol.

anyway, the picture above was taken during my blockmate's 18th birthday. it was really fun because after our closing day, i haven't met my blockmates for some days. the food was good too and after that, we had a party. we danced as if there's no tomorrow. lol. and it really made my feet hurt because i was wearing a 3 inches high heels. then after that, we went outside to find some places where we could continue the fun because the party ended like 11 in the evening. we wanted to continue the night so we decided to go somewhere where there's a karaoke. and we went to Music Match. and it was my first time to saw a sisha. it's like you're sniffing a cigarette but instead of nicotine, it's apple. so, it's not bad for your lungs. and i love it how the smokes went out from our mouth. lol. okay, i'm so ignorant because i dont smoke. haha. and my blockmate taught me how to release the smoke from your nose. lol. it was effing funny :D we stayed there for like, 2 hours? haha. can't remember. then after that, we parted our ways. but before we got back to my blockmate's dormitory, we asked the taxi driver to send us to Pinoy Big Brother's house first. lol. it was really exciting and i was so amazed of how the house looks like. i want to enter that house too :D then suddenly, we heard Kuya's voice. lol. both of us were shocked and was like jumping because of joy! haha. but there were some guys who come near us and asked us if they could have some picture with us. we're a bit scared. they're not handsome actually. it's like, eww. haha. kiddin'. and i smelled one of those guys, they're drunk. so we decided to go back to the dormitory. so, goodbye big brother's house :( then, we went back to the dormitory but we still couldn't get over from hearing Kuya's voice. haha.

then we slept in my blockmate's dormitory. actually, i slept for just 2 hours. so it's not really a sleep. lol.

Trust is the Issue Here.

is there a requirement for you to have REAL best friend?for you to give your 100% trust to a person? does being a reserved person is some kinda a bad thing to others? i woke up this morning with those thoughts in my mind. i woke up around 10am. well, that's because i stayed up late last night. i think i slept around 3am because i was watching an anime i just downloaded in my laptop. it's called Skip Beat and i totally love it. well, yeah. i think it's a good excuse though.

anyway, those things just popped inside my head earlier this morning. i just felt a bit of sadness and i don't know why. honestly, when i saw people who are real best friends, i envy them. i envy them because they have someone who could tell their whole secrets, someone who could call and sleep over in their house whenever they are bored or have problems, someone who could go shopping with them. i HAVE best friends but just for the sake of having a best friend. not that i am just using them and not really care for them, i consider them as my best friends because they are the closest persons to me aside from my family. but even though i treat them as my best friends, why can't i put my 100% or at least 90% of my trust to them. i share some secrets with them but not as the same as others who really trust their best friends and tell the whole story. i am not tryin' to be reserved but i really don't know how to trust people. maybe i was just taught while growing up to be more critical to people and not to trust easily. but i think i have gone so far that i can't even trust a person wholeheartedly even though i know deep down myself that they are trustworthy. i don't know, maybe i am just scared of depending so much to that person and hurt myself in the end. even in relationship, i don't fully trust my partner. there are still doubts inside of me and i just hide it. that's why i really don't believe that if you really love a person, you will trust him. or maybe, i am not just really in love. maybe that's not a real love.

maybe i am just a reserved person. and just because it's me who only knows the truth, sometimes i end up lying. but sometimes, it's like an advantage for me. i can solve the problem easily and i can lie because i'm the only one who knows the truth. i could easily make up excuses. but that's really frustrating because i am hindered to tell the truth because of my very self. i am more encouraged to lie because i knowthat everyone will believe me.

but then, when i have problems and i need someone to talk to, i can't seem to find someone to fit with my "standards". i ended up hiding it with myself because i can't find someone whom i could trust fully and tell what i am feeling inside. many times when i am down, i just save it for myself and think about how to solve it, without any help or advice from others. and when i am ready to spill it out, i look like there's no problem within me when i face people. i'm like the strong one. even though i already encountered this problem, people seem to find me courageous because it doesn't look like i am affected at all. and that's easy for me to show something differs from what is real because i am the only one who knows my true feelings. no one knows, even my closest friends.

Hassle!

hey there! wait, it's like almost a month since my last post, am i right? lol. well, many events happened recently. actually some of them were calamities and it really sucks. yeah, it does! imagine, sleeping without electricity, good food, phone and laptop battery?? it's like hell! yeah, i'm telling you, do not dare to experience it.

last week, we had our commerce week and it was totally fun! the costumes were awesome and i really can't believe that those freshmen were very creative. we had this theme, mtv stuffs. we should wear costumes that would portray our selected music video. we ran out late, so we have no choice but to wear army stuffs. it was based on the video "simulan mo na" by pedicab if i'm not mistaken. but the thing here was, those other sections were like very creative especially the freshmen! one of the sections portrayed "Hot and Cold" by Katy Perry and they're like very good! the girls were wearing wedding gowns and and the guys wore suits. two humbs up for them! and there was this guy with his very fabulous car, he portrayed Flo Rida! haha, imagine that :)) and you know what? i saw a car during the parade and i promise that that would be my dream car! it colors red and a top-down thing and it really looks fabulous! for sure, it has a rich owner. i wonder if i will be able to have that one too.

anyway, Philippines is in a state of calamity because of the typhoon Ondoy. i think dead bodies were now more than a hundred. so i hope that my loved ones and also others would be safe. i can't forget our experience in our dormitory. last saturday, our class was dismissed by 10am because of the heavy rain. i was able to get back to our dormitory but it was hella difficult because the rain was getting heavier and that there were "small" floods. on our dormitory, i was getting ready to go back home but because of the heavy rain i decided to let it hoop out first. unfortunately, it didn't! instead, it gets a lot heavier. so i then decided not to go home that day. i was watching some movie in my laptop to kill some time then the power just went out! that really sucks! so turned off my laptop and waited for the electicity to come back, but still no power present :( until it gets dark, there's still no power. thank God some of my friends in the other room were there so i was not alone. and my roommate' classmates were there because they were also stranded. you see, the flood was almost deep waist so you can't dare walk through it. you'll die! lol. so they slept in our room. it looked like an evacuation center. haha. then there's still no power the next day. it really sucks.

earlier, when i was on my way home, i was riding in a bus then suddenly the bus just bumped into another car! obviously, there's an accident. i was really shocked because i was sitting just behind the driver and the bumped thing occured near me. i was in total shock and i don't know what to do. thank God i came back home alive! lol

maybe the thing i will be thankful of is that our classes were suspended until Wednesday. so, that would be a much long vacation.


okay, i thing i'm outta here. i want to say so many things and in detailed but i don't think i'm in the right mood right now. so gotta say goodbye and goodnight for awhile :)


charm

Best Experience

feels good to write again here. hello everyone :) well, at least for those who read my blogs. :) alright, you might be wondering where was this picture taken and who are this people. from left: louie, shin, angel, paula, airish, the curly girl(lol, because i really don't know her name. i totally forgot. my bad), and of course, ME! :D we're wearing yellow shirts not because we went to some rally and shout for cory's name. lol. it's a no no. we had our National Service Training Program or NSTP for short. we had a community service. we went to Brgy. 56 in Tondo, Manila. it's really a depressed area. what do you think is the environment there? the place? the people? what kind of people?

but what's the irritating thing that happened there was i woke up early because i have to buy food. it's Sunday, there's no open stores that could sell lunch type of foods and apparently, in that time of day. it's just around 6:45. so what would i expect? well, lucky me... the 7/11 store was open.. well, of course. duh. and i found a sisig with rice. i'll just have to reheat it. and the funny thing was, when i was about to reheat the food in the microwave, i don't know it works. i can't open it and i don't know what'sthe right button for me to push. lol. but well, i remained cool. :) then i asked someone beside me of how that thing works. haha. that's hilarious! thank God and that guy, because i was able to reheat it and got there on time. but the worst thing was, when i got there, it's like we waited for about 2 hours because we can't find our facilitator. we thought he already went to the place because the place is really not that far. we could just take one ride to get there. and after that long long wait, we finally saw our facilitator. he said he's just waiting there in the bus. and all of us we're like.. wth?

the trip was okay, though it was like less than 30 mins. haha. imagine that, 30 mins and still have to use a bus. :D well, of course i know, it's for us to be comfortable. no problem with that. it's just really unusual. i am used of riding in a bus when i have to go to far places. like, going to Cavite from Manila or like for field trips way back high school and grade school. oh, i miss those days. :(

when we got there, i'm really quite nosy about the place. i'm totally feeling obnoxious because it's really dangerous there. you have no idea that suddenly, there will be someone who will stab you on your back with a knife. it's scary but i tried my best to forget about all of those things and focus with our main goal, to help. but we didn't do the community development itself, not yet. we just did some profiling about the place and the people so that next semester when we come back, that would be the time where we will put a community plan.

i interviewed one family, they're Bongabo family. and some of their children. i entered their house and i felt sad with what i saw. i realized how lucky i am to live in a quite big house with complete appliances and things i need. i realized how lucky i am because i am able to enter in a veru good university. i asked the father and the mother of the said family about their educational attainment, unfortunately they were undergraduate. the father finished only 2nd year high school. he's a pedicab driver and the mother only do some laundry. i really can't imagine how they are able to support their 6 children. but i am glad because i have learned that their eldest daughter is studying in college. in TUP. i hope she could graduate and help her family. then i played with some children. they're nice. honestly, i don't like children especially those who are very naughty. but those children were amazing. when you look at them, you can't tell that they're just living in that kind of place. they look like they have no problems. they're happy and contented. well, of course not really. but when you have seen their faces, you will think the same thing.

i can't forget this one boy i interviewed. he's funny because when i asked him about his birthday, he doesn't know. what i did was, i asked one of his siblings. and i told him that he shouldn't forget his birthday. and whenever i saw him always ask him what's the date of his birthday. haha.

i will never forget this experience. i am so glad that i was given the chance to do this and realize how lucky i am with my life. i hope and i pray that the people there will be safe always and find some way to develop their ways of living.


alright, i'm outta here.
charm :)

University's Pool Party!

Sorry if I wasn’t able to post a blog as much as I used to. This week was hell week. Yeah, literally. We already had our preliminary examination. It’s really stressing, though, it’s much easier than last years’. And what I hated was our examination in our computer subject. Can you imagine having a preliminary exam in a lengthwise yellow pad paper?? I mean, what was that? It was just like a quiz. But I swear to death that the content of exam was very very difficult. It’s like forever before you could answer it. Our professor told us to read this “Halloween Documents” thing. It’s an anti-Microsoft document. It’s really interesting, but it’s totally long! You got 60 pages to read with an 8 font size! Imagine? And the worst thing was, the questions in our exam were more on acronyms and enumeration. Well, it was much easier if it is in the documents but hell no. they were there but it has no meaning and he said we should have searched for the meaning of them. That’s whatever! I still can’t get over it but yeah, that’s life! That’s college life!

We have no class today but we are supposed to have one. And it’s frustrating because it is supposed to be the last day of our exam. We are supposed to have 2 departmental exams (Economics and Marketing). But our class was suspended because of the heavy rain. It was started from 2 in the morning. It’s really startling because there’s a thunder, very strong thunder. I alarmed my phone by 4:30am to study again but I actually disabled it because of the heavy storm and like, I know deep inside that there will be no classes. Then I woke around 7am and my classmates were like flooding my inbox and asking if there will still be a class. I have no credits so I ended up buying some credits. Then I looked at the window, and it’s like… “What the f*ck?!” there’s a flood out there and it was knee level! Then I saw the table in our canteen below, it was floating there on the road. That’s hilarious! Lol. And we’re waiting like an hour for an official announcement. And I hate it because it’s too late. Like, some of the students were on their way to school because they have no idea that our school was flooded like hell. And unfortunately for them, some of them were stranded. So much for them.

And my classmates were like, enjoying the no-classes day. It was like, duh? What’s good about that?? I’ve studied my lessons for 2 days and just like that? The exam will be postponed?? That’s really frustrating you know. It will be re-scheduled on Monday and I hate it. I am supposed to be relaxing by now and tomorrow, just chillin’ at home and surf the internet. But hell no! I still have to study! I hate it so much.

And since there’s no class, I really want to go home now. But the problem was how am I supposed to do that? The water was knee-level, so how how how? Well, if you’re thinking that I should go and pay no heed to the flood, you’re right! That’s what I did. And it was like hell! I swear I don’t wanna do it again. It’s really gross, seeing that your feet are under the dark water with trashes on it and say, feces?? That’s gross! I really have to put alcohol on my legs. And then, at last, I got home. And hurriedly went to the bathroom and took a shower. I felt like I’m so dirty and full of unknown microorganisms. Haha.

Okay, I’m so blah-blah-blah-ing here. I have to end this and go to church. Just a little side note, that picture was taken by an architecture student in our university and was posted in the internet. So I decided to grab it and post it here. Well, that’s the main building of our university. And look below, there’s the flood. Our school was flooded so what more on the outside? Haha, imagine it. I posted that picture so you could have an idea how gross the flood was.

Alright, I gotta go now. Bye npw.

Charm,