S T R U G G L E S

Things are going rough recently. I’m trying to be strong. I am currently experiencing lots of struggles and obstacles. My family, my studies, all of them are at stake right now. My studies are doing okay but not as good as before. My preliminary examination results were fine but I’m not contented. I know I did my best but I know that wasn’t my best yet. I could so much better than that. I neither get any failing grade so far nor perfect scores. Well, some of them have perfect scores but I don’t know, they’re not that satisfying for me. Or maybe I was expecting a much higher score because I knew to myself that I did studied well and I don’t deserve those scores. Tell me what? I’m too perfectionist. Yea I am, especially when it comes to me and my achievements. I don’t settle for less and that’s my fault. I know I can’t be perfect but I want myself to be perfect or at least, almost perfect. I want everything to be like what I wanted to be and what I think supposed to be. Which is bad, I know. I will never be happy if I will not be contented with what I’ve got. I will never found contentment and will always be disappointed if I continue expecting with the results and consequences of everything I am doing. But this is me. Believe me, I’m trying not to be. It’s for the good.

Another obstacle? My family especially my dad. He’s not young anymore and he’s already feeling something bad with his health. Actually, he has been sent to the hospital earlier because of some ailments. And it turned up that he has UTI. Our family is really worried because he was supposed to do his medical exam so that he could go again for work. I can’t stand my family being sick. I don’t want them to experience any pains. Who doesn’t anyway? It’s as if I’m the one in pain, much pain. And how I wish I was the one experiencing the pain. Just, not my family. I love them so much. I pray to God that he will cure my dad’s infection and bring his health back to normal.