I've already talked about the confusion thing on my last post. and i think i already have the answers to those questions. I've already figured it out. Well, it took me a minute or two to absorb the thought but there's nothing i could do but accept the fact.
But accepting the fact sometimes becomes very painful especially when you really don't want to accept it. you want to believe to those things you want to believe with even though you know that it can't happen. well, it may do happen but it isn't just the right time. you can't hold on to anyone even to your friends because you don't want to be treated as the poor one or the pity one. though of course, they will understand you but you still feel that they might think of you as the assuming one. so, you got nothing to do but cry all alone, do something that could take away your attention from those failures.
but the thing is, you still wanna do it. you still want to continue what you have started even though you know that it isn't the right thing to do. you don't know the reason why. maybe you're hoping that somehow, everything's will turn out the other way around or maybe you just can't help it. you can't control yourself because it's the only thing that makes you happy. and the only thing you could do is to pretend that everything's fine with you though deep inside, you almost felt like dying. just a stupid thing, right? well, you know it's a stupid thing and you hate yourself for doing that but you just can't control yourself.
But accepting the fact sometimes becomes very painful especially when you really don't want to accept it. you want to believe to those things you want to believe with even though you know that it can't happen. well, it may do happen but it isn't just the right time. you can't hold on to anyone even to your friends because you don't want to be treated as the poor one or the pity one. though of course, they will understand you but you still feel that they might think of you as the assuming one. so, you got nothing to do but cry all alone, do something that could take away your attention from those failures.
but the thing is, you still wanna do it. you still want to continue what you have started even though you know that it isn't the right thing to do. you don't know the reason why. maybe you're hoping that somehow, everything's will turn out the other way around or maybe you just can't help it. you can't control yourself because it's the only thing that makes you happy. and the only thing you could do is to pretend that everything's fine with you though deep inside, you almost felt like dying. just a stupid thing, right? well, you know it's a stupid thing and you hate yourself for doing that but you just can't control yourself.
i have learned that there are more important things to consider. sometimes you just can't help but prioritize those less important things but in the end, as you encounter some failures and heartbroken, you will come to realize what are the right things to be prioritize more. sometimes, you'll end up hatin' it and regret doing itt, sometimes you'll be thankful for making you stronger. maybe it isn't just the right time for the both of you because you both know that you have to focused more on other things. well, actually.. you don't know if he also thinks the same way. you just have to move on and do the right thing and maybe, hopefully.. someday, the right time comes. you could be meant for each other or maybe not. let's just wait for the right time when everything's can be possible and you've already accomplished those important things.
No comments:
Post a Comment