Tuesday, January 25, 2011


Things are going rough recently. I’m trying to be strong. I am currently experiencing lots of struggles and obstacles. My family, my studies, all of them are at stake right now. My studies are doing okay but not as good as before. My preliminary examination results were fine but I’m not contented. I know I did my best but I know that wasn’t my best yet. I could so much better than that. I neither get any failing grade so far nor perfect scores. Well, some of them have perfect scores but I don’t know, they’re not that satisfying for me. Or maybe I was expecting a much higher score because I knew to myself that I did studied well and I don’t deserve those scores. Tell me what? I’m too perfectionist. Yea I am, especially when it comes to me and my achievements. I don’t settle for less and that’s my fault. I know I can’t be perfect but I want myself to be perfect or at least, almost perfect. I want everything to be like what I wanted to be and what I think supposed to be. Which is bad, I know. I will never be happy if I will not be contented with what I’ve got. I will never found contentment and will always be disappointed if I continue expecting with the results and consequences of everything I am doing. But this is me. Believe me, I’m trying not to be. It’s for the good.
Another obstacle? My family especially my dad. He’s not young anymore and he’s already feeling something bad with his health. Actually, he has been sent to the hospital earlier because of some ailments. And it turned up that he has UTI. Our family is really worried because he was supposed to do his medical exam so that he could go again for work. I can’t stand my family being sick. I don’t want them to experience any pains. Who doesn’t anyway? It’s as if I’m the one in pain, much pain. And how I wish I was the one experiencing the pain. Just, not my family. I love them so much. I pray to God that he will cure my dad’s infection and bring his health back to normal.

Friday, January 21, 2011


This is actually what we are thinking. What we desire to do in the future. After we are over and done with all our errands in life, after we pursue our sought careers, after we helped our family and give them back our appreciation for all the things they have done for us, when time comes when we are ready for real life, THIS is what we want, what we are thinking to do in the future. Go to work and come home, in the same home, where we live together, eat together and sleep together. Talk for future plans, for our own family. It’ll be perfect even just the two of us only. This is perfection.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Best Night Part 2

Remember what I told you with my recent post? Well, I did it again. Yes. Again! :) I mentioned on my previous blog that I can’t wait to do it again. To sleep beside him and wake up in the morning, kissing me good morning and then pull me out of bed. The feeling was so awesome that I wouldn’t want to end it. It’s as if we’re husband and wife :P And it felt so good because it was my first time (well, second time actually because we’ve already done it during Paskuhan) to be asleep with another guy. Like, someone you are intimated with. Someone you love. And what makes it more special is the effort he actually exerted just to spend the night with me. I will treasure that night forever :)

6 Danger Signs of Getting Dumped: How to Tell If Your Boyfriend Is Cheating On You?

Almost every other woman lives in mortal fear of being dumped by a cheating, unfaithful boyfriend. Nothing in a committed relationship can be as painful as infidelity on the part of the one you love so much. But with a few cautious measures, it is possible to diminish that hurt and save yourself the pain, agony, heartburn and raging insult of an ugly break up.

There are a few tell tale signs that your boyfriend is cheating on you behind your back. If you can recognize those signs early on, may be you can dump the bastard and move on with your life with your dignity and self respect intact.

Your Boyfriend Doesn’t Spend Time with You

This is perhaps the most obvious sign of a boyfriend who has gone astray. He will increasingly stop spending quality time with you and will give a variety of novel excuses for canceling dates. Even when he is with you, he will come across as glum, moody, bored or unhappy, crappy or distant.

If your boyfriend isn’t so much into you anymore, not only will he spend lesser and lesser time with you, he will also refuse to answer your phone calls and text messages, he might hang up sooner and even in your august company, he will act like a very reticent man, almost as if, there is nothing more to talk about.

When your boyfriend chooses to hang out with his bunch of guy buddies instead of going out on a date with you, when he makes plans and programs for enjoyment and recreation or decides to travel somewhere with a group of friends, but gives you the cold shoulder and leaves you out of everything, it is perhaps time to get the clue and move on to greener pastures.

A boyfriend who is having an affair or is planning to dump you will hardly care whether you call him or not. If you call him repeatedly in alarm at the way things are turning out , he will complain of feeling smothered or pestered by you or he might make excuses like “I want to spend some ‘me time’ with myself and I want to be left alone”.

And even when he has finally agreed to go out on a date with you after a long time, he might seem to be in a strange hurry to leave “for some important work that just came up”. High time you got your act together and kicked such a moron out of your life for good.

Fights and Arguments

While fighting and arguing are parts and parcels of every relationship, a sudden increase in fighting, increasing use of verbally abusive, hurtful words and comments, sudden physical assault in a fit of anger are grave danger signs that your relationship is on the rocks.

If your boyfriend hits you or beats you black and blue, if he becomes increasingly confrontational and starts finding fault with you for no reason, if he magnifies your minor flaws and turns them into burning issues and insults you in public places or in front of his or your friends, if lately your boyfriend has only been hurting you and barking at you, it is perhaps time to wake up and smell the bitter coffee!

Increasing Lack of Affection

It is generally said and is also a well accepted fact that women are intuitive creatures and their sixth senses are really sharp. So, if you intuitively feel that something is wrong with your boyfriend, he seems to be less loving and less affectionate than usual, then may be you are actually right.

Lots of women who went by their gut feeling and ‘sensed’ that their boyfriends had become changed men, later found out that they were right and their boyfriends had indeed been seeing other women.

When your boyfriend loses interest in having sex with you, when he no longer cuddles you or strokes your hair, if he tells you “you have bad breath, your mouth stinks” when you want to kiss him, if he increasingly shies away from getting physically intimate with you, it is time to ring the alarm bell.

Normally, when a man is sleeping with another woman and committing adultery, his interest in getting cozy under the sheets with his rightful partner will diminish strongly.

And don’t fall for suspicious and repeated excuses like “I am feeling sick, let’s have sex some other day”. Your boyfriend is probably sleeping around and cuckolding you.

Guilty Feeling

Many women, who have had to deal with cheating spouses, agree on a common point that one of the most obvious signs of a cheating partner is an overwhelming sense of unexplained guilt on his part. When your boyfriend is cuckolding you, he might avoid certain subjects pertaining to his whereabouts, he might avoid making eye contact with you or he might seem uneasy and restless for no apparent reason.

Lack of Trust

Without mutual trust, a relationship cannot thrive. Thus, if your boyfriend suddenly and rather irrationally, stops trusting you, becomes suspicious about your loyalty towards him or accuses YOU of cheating on him and philandering around, there are high chances that he is acting out of his guilt burden and trying to justify his infidelity by putting his blame on you.

Suspicious Behavior

Just as a cheating boyfriend might be suspicious about your behavior and fidelity, similarly, he might also engage in suspicious behaviors such as going out of the room to attend ‘important’ phone calls, always having a call history or a call register that is regularly blanked out, ignoring certain phone calls when he cant escape from your presence and so on.

As a girlfriend you have every right to check his mobile phone. But when your boyfriend does not allow you to touch his phone, indulges in hush hush text messaging or gets repeated phone calls from an unknown number, it is time you got suspicious.

A cheating boyfriend might also avoid going to his favorite watering holes or to parties or restaurants which were previously his favorites. If he is constantly edgy about taking you out to certain public places, but can’t provide any reasonable explanation behind this sudden weird behavior, it is perhaps time to hit the panic button.

However, I personally feel, the best way to catch if your boyfriend is cheating on you is to check if he is lying or not. Boyfriends with roving eyes and libidinous impulses are always ready with their cock and bull stories. A boyfriend with a questionable character will lie to you, to your family members and to your friends regarding the same matter.

And who knows, if your boyfriend had been lying to you constantly to cover up his nefarious activities! It is best to dump an incorrigible liar and philanderer before he dumps you.

REBLOGGED: I Just Find Them Too Fascinating!

It might be spring/summer in fashion world, I can't help to look back at the fall/winter 2010 shoe collection from Balenciaga designed by Nicolas Ghesquière. The shoes are so odd but so pretty... He used a lot of geometry in creating them and to be honest, I don't mind. I saw one of the designs in a magazine and I thought it was so original, so I had to write something about it and share the pictures with you guys. Not only do I love the architectural heel and platform, I also love how they still keep something classic in feminine in the designs. I'd personally go for the one with the laces or with the two straps.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Because it is NOT SO YOU

It’s weird having those feelings you haven’t imagined you will feel. Those feelings you think you weren’t supposed to feel because it is not so you. Those feelings that make you willing to give up everything. It’s like you don’t care about your pride anymore. You don’t care how people look and think of you. It’s weird because before, you’ve been the one who always hurt and break someone’s heart. The one who always make someone upset and feel jealous because you’re mingling with a lot of people. The one who doesn’t care about the feelings of that person who likes and cares about you. The one who only wants is to enjoy life, party all night, and fulfill your dreams.

And then one day, there’s this guy who came and changed your life. This guy who changed the way you act, talk and almost everything. This guy who made you all of a sudden faithful with your partner. It’s like you’re now beginning to feel scared with what will happen in the future. Before, you’re just a go-with-the-flow type of person. Now, you want everything to be planned well and this guy is always included with those plans. You started to fret and be anxious about everything because you don’t want to fail him or somehow affect him negatively. Everything is all about the people you love, the things you care the most and HIM. And that is SO NOT YOU. You learned how to love someone unconditionally. You can deal with your time really well so that it won’t be a predicament to your relationship. You’re being brave enough to face all the challenges and state of affairs that might happen because of having him. You’re scared of being broken yet you’re willing to put your guard down and accept the risk of being hurt because you can’t afford to lose him and you can never imagine your future without him. Weird isn’t it?