It's Worth Fighting For!

I haven’t been posting for awhile… I know. I’ve been busy but I know it’s not an excuse though. School gets more hell. New professors, new classmates, new friends, new subjects, etc. Also, I seldom bring my laptop with me so I haven’t got the time to write everything that is happening to me.

Anyway, just earlier I created a tumblr account. It’s also a blog site. I’m just bored so I decided to create one. Besides, I know a few friends who are totally in love with tumblr. Like they spend most of their hours in tumblr. I just wanna check what’s in it. I wish wouldn’t be like them. Lol.

So, where will I start my story? It’s been a long time since my last post. There are lots of happenings and changes. How will I start?

Okay, maybe I’ll start with my studies. I’m already in my 3^rd year as a student in UST. Last summer, I took some qualifying exams for our major. I was about to choose between Economics and Marketing so I took both exams. I did pass with those two. So my major problem was which is which? Marketing was my first choice and what I want actually just before I enter college. Economics, on the other side, made me so interested and I do excel in that subject. Not because it is easy but because I am really interested. But I stick up with my first choice and now I’m a Marketing student. First semester just ended and I am waiting for my grades to show up online. I’m not quote worried with my grades except for that one subject where I screwed up during my final exams. Just wish me luck. :/ anyway, I attended again a ceremony for the Outstanding Students earlier this September. Though I lost my scholarship, it still feels good receiving an award you know you deserve because of your hardships and patience.

Oh, about the picture above, I just saw it on photobucket and I really think it’s cute J I don’t know if it’s right to mention here about what happening with my personal life because people might, well, will see it. But I couldn’t care less, it’s my blogger people!

So what is actually happening to me? I’m good. I’m totally good. No. I’m totally great! You know the feeling as if everything seems right. Like everything falls perfectly in its place. Yes you might say, it’s just because I’m in love. I’ve been in love before. But this time, it’s different. You never know how many months and years I waited just to get this feeling. The patience, the pains, the tears, the happiness, the forgiveness and acceptance, the second chances, I’ve already did them. I never knew I could actually do those stupid things. Imagine, wait for someone for so long, ignoring admirers just because of someone? And you would never imagine that I could totally ignore those guys. I mean, I would be crazy if I dumped them for no reason. But I was totally crazy, so I dumped them. The worst part? I made them fall for me and leave them hanging. I was so mean just to avoid getting hurt. I remember when one of the guys got mad at me because I left him hanging after those sweet moments between us. It’s not that I intended to do it or like hurt me intentionally. It’s just that, there was a time when I just realized that I don’t like it anymore and that I had to stop it. It just hurt him because I didn’t say anything after that. It’s because I don’t know what to say to him. I am afraid of karma. I know everyone does. So I stopped doing things like that. So there’s this guy whom I really like, we became close friends, but just friends. Months passed and we had no communication with each other because we’re both busy. He do his own thing, I do mine. He flirts girls, I flirt boys. But I said to myself, he’s the one I’m willing to wait. If ever the time comes that we became together, I will surely want myself to be settled with him. I don’t even know why or what’s gotten in to me. I don’t know what he got but there’s something I really can’t resist. And then, there’s this night when he asked me if I want to try. Like me and him as lovers. I said sure. Lol. But my first 2 months with him was not good. He had this attitude of being cold because he has this mindset of no girls for the meantime. I don’t know but I guess it’s because of his past relationship. I tried to hold on to my faith. How stupid right? I was getting my hopes up trying to convince myself that everything will be okay. I did flirt some guys because I felt he doesn’t care at all. I was about to give him up when that night happened. We talked about it and he said I am important to him. I don’t wanna believe him because I don’t want to give him another chance. I was thinking that he’s hurting me too much and all I wanna do was to forget him and try to focus with some other things. But he really changed. Like he changed a lot. He said he realized something and things like that.

So now, we’re so good. It’s difficult to express here but you can never imagine how happy I am right now. It’s more than just a girlfriend-boyfriend thing. What we have is something true. We think as if we’re matured enough to face the future together. Our relationship is not just like others. We’re together not only for the sake of companionship and displayed affection. Our relationship is something worth keeping, worth believing and worth fighting. <3