This morning, I turned on my laptop and browsed my blog. I saw there that I got a comment on my recent post. It was from my former high school teacher, Sey David. From her comment, I realized lots of things. But pride is on his track and I can hardly accept the fact that I was wrong and acting so childish here.
This afternoon, I got a twitter mention from my friend/dorm-mate/gimikera-friend, Kei Calapatia. She asked me what's with the Expectations-Disappointments thing. I asked her if she had read my blog and she said, yes, twice. And she even said she wanted to give some comments regarding the blog but it's too long to put it on twitter. Then she said, she'll send it through mail.
After reading it, again, another realization. I am so wrong and that I have to apologize to my boyfriend. I asked her if I could post on my blog this email of her, and she said it's her pleasure :) It's long but very inspiring. Even those who are singles must read this and you'll get an idea on how to keep your future relationship strong. :)
Re Danger: Expectations
Well honestly, I got pretty interested with your Twitter update: EXPECTING is my favorite crime & DISAPPOINTMENT is always my punishment. Followed by: Blogging. So I figured you will be posting something about your expectations and whatnot. I was actually looking forward to something about your future career. Didn't see it was all about love. Pambihira. But it caught me even more interested because of the NAGTAHI AKO! Bold and (all) capitalized! On lighter note: I've always been fascinated with girls who know these stuffs. Haha. Just saying. So now, that leave me asking what's the connection between expectations and pagtatahi? Then I read it all the way. After pausing from time to time to shake my head and give silly silent comments, I read it again. Trip ko lang. Haha. I could have just ignore it, move on and continue browsing the net. Kaso, you see, I'm in love with love. And. I can't believe your friend. Haha.
I'll try not to make this long ass. I will! Bear with me. Haha. But please do understand, that I know nothing but what I just read. Third or maybe fourth person view tong pagbibigay ko ng comments!
1. I admire your efforts! Sige. Ikaw na ang sweet. Sige. Ikaw na yun. The thing is, um-effort ka na lang din naman, di mo pa sinagad. Why were you not in his grad anyway? Alam mo, napaka-special ng graduation. Mas special pa sa monthsary, trust me. I don't need to say more. Mas maiintindihan mo yun pag ikaw na yun graduate.
2. You were expecting him na dadaan sya sa inyo to spend time with you. Didn't it occur to you that he could be expecting that you spend time with him. I think that's selfish. Sadly. Nakakapagod talaga ang graduation. Kahit pa most of the time nakaupo lang, emotionally, nakakapagod. Well atleast in my case. Pero tingin ko, siguro sya rin.
3. "Okay lang ako." Pero hindi. Eto ang hindi ko maintindihan. Hindi siguro ako babae.
4. Nagtatampo ka. Dapat ba? My answer? HELL NO. Why would you be. Give the man a break. It's his time. Alam mo, minsan ka lang ga-graduate. Ang monthsary, marami pa yan. If you planned it to be that way, syempre marami pa yan.
5. "Kung ako yun, gegerahin ko yun." *sigh* Okay. She is the perfect example of why you shouldn't trust your friends when it comes to romantic relationships. Gahd, I despise friends who give this crap as advice. Seriously? That's the best she can give?
6. You are waiting for reasons. Reason: Graduation. It's hissss day. You didn't see it, you felt like you're hanging, because you didn't even try to look. Dapat alam mo na na hindi sya makakapunta. Sana ikaw nalang ang nagpunta.
7. Nabalewala ka nanaman. Really? Nanaman? Ibang usapan yun. Pero spare this one. Di nya kasalanang sabay ang monthsary nyo at graduation nya.
8. "Lahat yun napunta lang sa wala." Seriously? I don't believe you. Bakit, di mo na ba sya mahal? Di ka na ba nya mahal? Dahil lang dun? Lahat ng ginagawa natin, may learnings dun. Di pedeng mapunta sa wala. Tandaan mo yun.
9. "Naks, ang bait mo talaga.. And blah blah blah na full of shits.." Gusto kong sakalin yun friend mo! Haha
10. "10 minutes lang.." Nakakalungkot, kasi desperate yun tone ng phrase na yun. Ang nagmamahal, di nagbibilang, di nag-aantay, sana alam mo yan. Bakit hindi ikaw ang gumawa ng 10 minutes. Can't you see, this is your time. Ma-inspire man lang sya because you keep him company, you encourage him, and you love him.
11. (from your reply to the comment:) "sana sinabi nya.." Haha. Bakit ikaw nagsabi ka ba?
Yea, that's right, I'm in love with love. Alam ko masaya ka, at naiinis ako na may mga advices na instead of keeping the love, mas gusto nila ng away. Ako, I go against that. Completely. I've seen relationships failed. I don't have to see more.
Now here's a piece of advice: Why not make everyday special. Para di nyo na kailangan ng monthsary to celebrate. Ako, hindi ako nagce-celebrate ng monthsary. Mas gusto ko random dates. Mas sweet. And you don't have to cry for this. This is nothing compared sa pede nyo pang pagdaanan in the future. Bata pa kayo. Dapat you should focused more on supporting each other's career. Not pressuring each other to have time with each other. You'll have more of this pag senior ka na, working sya. Or working kayo pareho.
And lastly, don't give your relationship extra stress, get rid of useless friends. They are the least you need.
The lines, "Dapat you should focused more on supporting each other's career. Not pressuring each other to have time with each other." this hit me alot. I know I am acting so childish again. Again and again. But now, I am okay. I'll apologize to him and let him know what I have learned. Maybe I'm not that mature yet, but learning takes time and is a lifetime process. I have to learn so many things and I have to admit that great learnings are found from one's mistakes. And I can't deny that I have committed a mistake. I have to set aside my ego and learn to apologize. 'Cause hey, I've got another plus point! I'm taking the right track towards maturity. :)
PS: Thank you so much to these 2 lovely ladies. If it's not because of you, I wouldn't find any answers to my dilemma. I love you! :*