Saturday, April 2, 2011

Taken or Single?

Alright! Since I want to write something yet can’t think of anything to say, I decided to divulge my insights about being single and being taken. After a few minutes of thinking what topic exactly I would like to thrash out, I’ve searched (thanks to Google :P) some outlooks regarding the topic from my fellow bloggers. And these I found:

Being single definitely has its advantages. There's more freedom, less responsibility, and no one to keep tabs on you. Conversely, there are some things I absolutely hate about being single.

Let’s start with the hate:

1. Not having a guaranteed "activity buddy." If you're single and you want to go out to dinner you've got to find someone to go with. Sure, you can invite friends or other couples but they may not be available. When you're in a relationship this isn't a big deal, your partner tends to become the default option.

2. Playing the "do you like me?" game. I try to be as direct as possible when expressing how I feel about others, but unfortunately not everyone takes this approach. I can handle someone rushing commitment and being very up-front about wanting to date me, and I can also handle someone not returning my calls or telling me they're just not interested. What I cannot handle, however, is someone sending mixed messages and being generally unclear with where a relationship is heading. It's frustrating and misinterpreting someone's intentions can be very embarrassing.

3. You don't have someone to come home to

4. Dating is expensive

5. The chaotic ups and downs. Being single you're subject to a much wider range of emotional stress that can be both exciting and horrible. One day you're basking in the euphoria of meeting someone new and the next you're dealing with the staggering blow of rejection.

And now the things I love about being single:

1. Freedom! Stay out as late as you like, answer to no one, and your only commitment is to debauchery and perhaps a hangover.

2. There's more time to get yourself better. Whether due to necessity or convenience, single people tend to exercise more and generally take better care of themselves.

3. If you're capable of being alone (and you aren't the type of person that has been jumping from one relationship to the next your whole life), you'll find that over time you can fine-tune exactly who you're looking for and you'll only commit to someone who is truly exceptional. In other words, you lose the tendency to settle and develop a better sense of what you want.

4. There's more time for hobbies and personal interests

5. If you're a workaholic this affords you to the perfect opportunity to embrace your addiction (*cough* so about working those 18 hour days as a blogger, entrepreneur, web developer, and CTO of a marketing firm...)

6. Dating is different than it used to be and with the rise of the interwebs pretty much anyone can find a date nowadays.

These are true. When you are single, you have more time, more freedom. You can flirt guys, you can party all night, less heartbreaks, less expenses and less expectations.

So being in a relationship, I could find some advantages and disadvantages. However, subcategorizing it is very subjective so whatever I may write here is definitely based on my own opinion.

I’m not encouraging more teens to get into a relationship because of all the ‘good times’ you might experience. I hope you understand that personally I think that a relationship should not be for fun and should be treated seriously. A relationship is not just connecting on a physical level, which would just be meaningless and won’t last long. Yes-yes, to a certain point it is and that emotionally and physically feelings should be balanced. But when you and your partner come to a point when after just liking each other you begin to feel and care for each other that you can never do for anyone else, than will you understand just how much that person means to you. A feeling like that can never be replaced by just physical looks or anything else like that.

For me, being in a relationship takes some courage and above all, COMMITMENT. You see, people these days are moving so fast with their daily lives wherein even relationships with other people tend to become so hasty too. People, especially teens are so fan of having and changing boyfriends/girlfriends in just like months or sometimes, weeks; which shouldn’t be that way. But as they say, “Behind a bitch is an asshole that made her that way.” Maybe, some people are too vigilant of being heartbroken that is why they tend to play it safe. Some maybe has this experience from their past and that they don’t want to experience it again. But just like what I said, being in a relationship takes some courage and commitment. You have to take the risk of being in love and being hurt. Because if it doesn’t break your heart, it isn’t love. So what’s the point of being in a relationship if you don’t love your partner? Just for fun? Just for experience? For sex? For popularity? Or for social statement that “Hey, I’m not a geek! I got a girlfriend/boyfriend!”? That’s hilarious!

I, myself, admit that I’ve played games before, played someone’s feelings and played safe. But I have never been into a relationship wherein I am not serious. Before, I got lots of flings and that is because I am single. But whenever I feel like I wanna be in a relationship, I want myself to be at its best. I wanna be serious and very committed to my partner. When I am in a relationship, I stop fooling around and flirting other guys. And this is because, relationships should work like this.

Okay, stop. Ask me what are the best things of being in a relationship J I’ll tell you what. The "kulitan" moments, when you have nothing else to do, but don't feel bored at all because you're together; watching a romantic movie with a boyfriend rather than a girl-friend, and then dissecting the de/merits of the movie afterwards; having another insight into the different ways men and women see and understand things; having someone to shower affection to; the laughter; the petty arguments, and the making-up afterwards (I really love this part); the feeling of being loved; having someone to call my own and vice versa and most of all, having those meaningful conversations that only the two of you can understand because of the special code-speak that you share.

Though of course, one of the disadvantages would be the heartbreaks, the risk of being cheated and stuffs. But unless you are truly in love with that person and that person genuinely loves you back, those disadvantages would be nothing because of that feeling of being so fulfilled and being the “everything” of another person.

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