Thursday, May 14, 2009

nothing seems right

i know i already posted a blog earlier but i couldn't help it. i must let this emotions out. besides, this is the purpose of my blog... sorry if it's way emotional. you don't have to relate with my blog or something. but if you do, well we're on the same boat. welcome aboard :|

i feel so alone tonight. i don't know. i wanna cry but i don't want people to see me. i dont know how i could spill these emotions without people seeing and knowing it. i don't know whom i am going to turn to. to let know my problem. i don't know whom i could lean on. i know i need comfort but i don't know where to get it. i am all alone here in my room and my laptop seems to be the only thing that could help me. some thing that could understand me without saying any comment about how stupid i am. i feel like the whole world, all people turned their back on me. i feel like they don't love me anymore. i'm feeling worthless and i'm feeling so disappointed to those people who i used to treat right but left me alone tonight. saying nothing... looks like people don't know i exist. looks like the only world i fit in is my room with my friends.. laptop, cellphones, bed, pillows, everything inside my room. and the only thing i could do.. is to lay down in bed, listen to music and pity myself. honestly, i dont like pitying. who likes it anyway? but what can i do? this is what i am feeling. and it looks like this is the only right thing to do. why? because i'm nothing. no one cares about me. i'm not existing. though i am only existing in my own world. i don't think i need someone either. happenings recently did this to me not only because of one person but because of me being so stupid. i don't know what i want. i don't know what i need. love? maybe.. maybe not. friends? i have so many of them but still... there's nothing happening. money? fame? a big no. maybe being alone will do. i want to be alone. yeah, that's for sure. i want to figure things out. the reason why i am feeling these emptiness. the reason why i can't be happy. the reason why... i am crying right now. think? i can't even think right. i don't know what's happening with me. i don't know if it's just psychologically or what.. all i know right now is that i am all alone and nothing seems right with me.

No comments:

Post a Comment